Old Friends Bring New Attitudes

It's been a hectic week. In a good way, this time.

On Monday, a pair of old friends showed up from far, far away. We were really close when I lived here in 2005/2006, and it was the first time I'd seen either of them since. The breakup was glossed over in a sentence, and the discussion of my marathon went on for ages. Mostly because one of the people I was out with was also a runner. It felt like progress after the weekend I'd had, though. Less progress was when I missed the tube home, couldn't find the night bus, fell asleep on the night bus I finally DID find, and wound up getting in at 3 am. Oops. Well worth it.

Then, on Friday, another old friend arrived. This one from my time in Paris. Over beers, the following discussion took place:

Me: Yeah, so I might need a place to stay when I come for the marathon in April
Friend: Of course! I have a new pull-out couch.
Me: And I'll be choosing a charity to run for in the next couple weeks...
Friend: Ooh! let me know and I'll make a donation.

I'm always surprised by how willing people are to help. It shouldn't surprise me, since I'm always willing to help others, but it still does.

And all these old friends made me laugh, made me remember pieces of myself.

I had a good chat with my friend/sister Carrie last weekend, when I was down in the dumps about the move. She reminded me of Mudfest 2007 in Korea. The weekend was so amazing that, even though I'm pretty sure I broke my foot (crowd surfing + muddy body = bad idea) I still look back on it as one of the best weekends of my life. Mud, good friends, good music, and an insane bus ride home that ended with my buddies literally dangling half naked from the rafters while we sprayed beer everywhere. My abs hurt from laughing by the end of it all.

Carrie asked me "was the ex there?" I said no, the ex wasn't even on the scene yet. She reminded me that I had the best weekend and the best memories and I was so happy and surrounded by great friends, and the ex was nowhere to be seen.

I had to swap some pictures in picture frames, and there is now a Mudfest picture sitting proudly where my ex's picture once sat. Fitting. I'll make my own happy memories.

So, I'm on my way back up. I really, really want a permanent job, though. I'm getting itchy, I want to focus on all sorts of interesting things (running, writing, making a plan for my life, photography...the usual!), rather than spending half my life on charityjob.com. Yes, that's a real website. I've come so far, but this next step is, in my impatient mind, taking far too long.



My friends at Mudfest 2007

Vanishig Act!

I knew I wasn't going to write every day, but I didn't think I'd go a whole week and a half without writing

I wish it'd been due to something fun like a vacation or a new job keeping me busy, but in reality (and I'll cop to this because I'm committed to recording what's actually going on in my life - the good and the bad) it was just the stupid move out from the flat I shared with my ex. First we were fighting over stupid things like who got to hold onto my key (me) and then we were reminiscing about when we moved in and acting like we were still dating.

When we were packing, I kept remembering all the stuff we'd bought together, all the high hopes I'd had when I'd bought those things. I loved building a life together, and even though I knew it was over, there was a finality about it all that just made me very sad. And then, of course, I felt like an idiot because I was feeling sad about moving out of a flat I hadn't lived in for 2 months shared with a dude who stole my key.

So, that's where I'm at. I had a bit of a setback in the whole "getting over him" thing, and am getting myself back on track. It's been a tough week, but I'm trying.

In other, slightly more positive news: The doctor signed off on me, and I am officially fit enough to run the Paris Marathon.

In other OTHER news, still no job and then temp job is creeping towards the end. So, I'm applying for jobs like a lunatic, pestering everyone I know to put me forward for everything they can think of (still in the charity sector, but I've felt my first waver of "maybe I can just take any old admin job..) and hoping for the best. For now, I'm staying strong and sticking to my guns.



Walkin' away

The Key to all of This

Sorry about the vanishing act! I've moved into the new flat now, which is fantastic except that Ali's router seems to hate my lovely Mac. Or maybe it's the other way around. We're working to fix it, but in the mean time I'm sat in a cafe trying to apply for jobs and catch up on my emails and all that stuff. It's a small price to pay for finally having a place to live, but I will be relieved when it's all up and running.

It's been a tough week. Work was weird. I was hoping for a while that they'd take me on full time, but it doesn't look like there'll be any space for me. And to make things more fun, relations with my ex have completely broken down, dashing hopes that we'd be able to get through the end of the lease agreement civilly and with kindness. Nope. Last week, I turned a key into the rental agency because they wanted a copy. Fine. But then for some reason, he went to pick it up and then lent it to a friend who is, apparently, staying with him. And then when I asked him for it back, he refused!

This friend was supposed to be leaving on Friday, and he was happy to meet me to give me back my keys then. So, I met him yesterday, got my key and all was well. Until this morning, when I was woken up by a text telling me to get in touch if I was awake. I asked what he wanted. The friend who was supposed to be leaving on Friday was still in the flat, and hadn't let him in when he called. As a result, he was furious and wanted my key back. I said no, but out of the kindness of my heart, I'd go let him in. After a series of increasingly angry texts in which he insisted that the key should be with him (he has his own key!) and that I'm screwing him over, he told me not to bother coming.

Fine by me, I guess.

I don't know if I wanted to be friends, but I for sure wanted to be friendly, especially while getting all the flat stuff sorted. Now I'm kind of afraid that all my stuff is flying out the window as we speak. Assuming he isn't still sitting on the stoop, that is.


As my former home-life crumbles around me...