The stopover in Iceland was amazing. Gorgeous. The first few times I went somewhere "exotic" (I'm thinking of Spain), I remember being 5% disappointed that the landscape didn't look more different. I always remember that when I touch down somewhere. Thailand, Korea, Sweden, they all have trees and highways and look a bit similar. After a while I just accepted that I'd have to actually get into a country to see how it's different.
And then I touched down in Iceland. Right out of the airport, I was craning my neck and trying to restrain myself from making stupid noises. The bus ride into town looked like nothing I'd ever seen before. It looked like I imagine the moon looks.
Two steps forward, one step back. Touching down in London was, for the first time ever, a bit sad. Normally I love it here. Normally I get a goofy smile and wriggle around in my seat. This time, I just kind of wondered what the doodle I'm doing. I was happy in Canada. I was fired up in Canada. Now I'm here and it's wet and rainy and suddenly it's time. I need to find a place to live, a job, a calling, a life. Talking about doing something is a lot easier than doing it.
It's a bit sad too, because it's a lot easier to "deal with" (read: ignore) sad breakup feelings when you're not on the same continent.
So, what have I done?
I went for my first run today. 1.7 miles, in case you care. Not quite a marathon, and I kept checking my shiny new pedometer thinking I'd gone a lot farther than I had. "Surely I've gone another mile now. What? 350 meters? Oh."
And, honestly, that's about it. I met a couple friends, bought some cheap noodle soup, made a doctors appointment, but nothing life-altering. I want life-altering. I am searching for life-altering. It's a hard search, I have to admit. It's easy to talk a big game and say I'm gonna go kick some butt but the bit I'm finding the hardest so far is finding a butt to kick. I feel like if I was pointed in the right direction, I'd be able to go full-tilt. But the point of this all is figuring myself out and not letting anyone but me point me in the right direction.
As of now, I'm going in circles, and circles are for sure not the right direction. They aren't even a direction at all, actually.
Iceland. Seriously.
PS - I accidentally posted a link to this blog on facebook. I was really trying to post something else, and I have no idea how it happened. I wasn't quite ready for everyone I know to see this yet, and I doubt many people even noticed (especially as Facebook's changed their format today. Again). In any case, I have nothing to hide. Hi, Facebook people!
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